Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Self-worth based on sales

Hello all,
This might be an overstatement, but today as feel as though if it were up to all the bosses in the universe, the self-worth of a person would be based on their sales (ergo, how much money they contribute to a company). 

Today I was told I wasn’t being worth the company. Oh, not in those words, they were decorative and carefully spoken, but that was the hidden meaning behind them. If I wasn’t selling enough --if I wasn’t earning profit for these people-- I wasn’t worth the salary they wasted on me every month (a petty one, too). 

You know the funny thing? This was based on sales that haven’t been performed yet because they are next year’s. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I was told I wasn’t making enough money next year. Does it matter that I 2016 isn’t over (h*ck, hasn’t even started)? 
No, all that counted was a sheet of paper with small projects because until now I have always been helping/assisting other people with their bigger projects. Who cares if most jobs are sudden and most foreign clients will come to me because I am good with languages? That stupid piece of paper which proves nothing gave me half an hour of an earful of mean comments.
Whereas last year I might have broken down crying, today I find myself genuinely not giving a cr*p. Let the bosses speak, let them complain and demean me. 

I am perfectly aware that my self-worth isn’t linked to an excel sheet, thank you very much.

They’ll be watching me and will want to see an improvement next year, they said. 
Well, do whatever you please. I’m proud of my performance this year, and I will be better because people improve naturally. You just want a prettier paper with a 2017 imprinted instead of 2016.

Meh. I might try to give it to you, but I wouldn’t count on it.

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